This Wednesday will officially mark my first full year as a working man in the real world. I remember a year ago I was dreading the idea of a full 5-day work week, doing the 9-to-5 deal and commuting through LA traffic. But honestly, after a full year of doing this, I can say that I'm having a blast.

A year ago, we didn't even have an office; I was the first officially hired employee and was working from home. Since then, we've opened an office in Irvine, moved to West Los Angeles, hired 21 people, closed a couple dozen deals...and had a lot of fun throughout the process. Here's just a few tidbits of life at the office:

• At the video shoot, our president is supposed to say, "Thank you for watching our video. We can't wait to be your success partner."

Gary: Thank you for being our sex partner. We can't wait to watch the video.

• Gary's dirty mind must of been contagious cuz later on in the video shoot, Dave is supposed to say, "...and now I will turn you over to our product designer, Mel."

Dave: And now I will turn Mel over for you.

• Becca telling us about her childhood:

Becca: Remember when you were a kid and all these doctors would ask you things like, 'does the TV talk to you sometimes?'
Everyone: Uhh. No...

• Wesley's damn ringtone every day

• Everyone whistling Wesley's damn ringtone every day

• Dave unconsciously whistling "We got the funk" everytime one of us says "func" (short for "function")

• Racist graphics designer joke:

Dave: I love #000000 people

• Us provoking our hardcore vegan co-worker:

Me: Kemar, would you rather put a sausage in your mouth or in your butt?
Kemar: Definitely in my.... hesitates ... nevermind.

• Introducing someone to the team:

Harv: And this is Adam. He specializes in programming, setting up servers, managing the databases...you know, all of the backend stuff.
Thomas: He's the Backend Master. :gayhehe:

• Wesley after learning how to make 3 dimensional spheres in Photoshop:

Wesley: Hey Mel, check out my pretty balls.

• Deciding on codenames for future version releases of our software:

Mel: Let's codename everything after pornstars!

Harv: Ooh, I know!

Harv: Let's codename everything after each of the employees we've fired!

rofl:

• Explaining our philosophies on bugs:

Andrew: It's not a bug, it's a surprise feature!
Me: Yeah! It's like, "Surprise! You're account was deleted!"

• Me using a shitty metaphor for explaining how to deal with serious bugs:

Mel: It's like we have genital warts. Either we can put makeup on it to cover it up, or we can spend the money on a good doctor and get that shit removed.
Everyone: :uhh: :uhh: :uhh:
Thomas: ...What I think Mel is trying to say is...
Thomas: we're on a boat that is sinking. Either we can try to do quick, temporary fixes by using bandaids to cover the holes, or we can take the time to properly fix the boat.

• Our unofficial company tagline:

Powered by Korean BBQ

• In Miami, president walks over to a group of big black guys sipping girly drinks:

Gary: You a bunch of girls or something? What's up with the fufu drinks?
Gary: Your drink is all pink and you got a girly little straw and everything.

Gary: So what do you guys do?
Big Black Guy: I'm in the music biz. These guys are my crew.
Gary: Cool, I actually work with a lot of guys in the music industry.

A few minutes later...

Gary: Listen, I gotta head out but give me your number so we can talk some shop sometime.
Gary: pulls out cellphone
Gary: How do you spell your name again?
Big Black Guy: S-U-G-E   K-N-I-G-H-T