Being Twenty-Something

They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis." It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.

You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you're doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person. One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!

What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.

// ganked from some random guy's xanger

40 Days & 40 Nights v.05

Lent is Here

its that time of the year again...

sigh smilie
last year's lent thing was a complete failure for me...i believe it was to do something new & different everyday...it went great for the first week or so, and then drama stuck and that thing was the very last thing on my mind.so what should i give up this year?? :hmm: this one's tough...let's see...

  • diet? well, i've already last 25 lbs and counting...
    wiggle smilie
  • no more "shampoo" (aka shibby)? well, i've just about quit that because it doesn't mix well with my pills...
    happysad smilie
  • quit cutting class? i haven't ditched class in 7 months...
    biggrin smilie
  • i've started going to church on my own...
    smile smilie
  • i'm not an alcoholic...
    happysad smilie
  • sex? hahahaha...hahaha...haha...ha...
    frown smilie
  • profanity?
    headshake smilie
    fuck that, too fucking hard.

i can't think of anything else...

i know that sherwin has taken a vow of celebacy...

uhh smilie
...good luck on that one, bro...16 days, max...

i'm sorry man, i'm not gonna put myself thru that...as far as i'm concerned, punching the clown is part of the system...i have no desire to fuck up the system. besides, i'm lowering my risk of prostate cancer!!

wink smilie

aight, i'm gonna do the semi-casual catholic thing and just give up meat on fridays...i know that you're supposed to do that anyways, but i've really cleaned up my act anyways.

Papa Bear had Surgery

last weekend my pops had surgery to remove some cancerous stuff from his leg (again). everything's fine though...he just got discharged from the hospital last night and he's up & walking around just fine.

happysad smilie

Random Stuff

  • got an A on my FRL exam.
    bigthumbup smilie
    and i never get A's on exams!!!
  • i'm officially a regular customer @ Salo Salo Grill. "the usual?"
    coold smilie
  • never again will i have a grilled stuft chicken enchilada @ taco bell...three words...endless taco shits...
    whine smilie
  • i might go to the phillipines with my dad and/or the blakes!!
    fingersx smilie
  • papa found out about my visits to the doctor regarding my ADD.
    nervous smilie

Songs of the Moment

  • Lovers and Friends by Usher, Ludacris & Lil' John (although Ludacris & Lil' Johns parts are a little :ugh:)
  • California (Hip-Hop Remix) by Akia

When dealing with people, let us remember that we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity.

—Dale Carnegie

She cheated on me...

i had this dream last night that i got in a fight with melissa (le) and elisa...

Mel: checks away messages
Mel: (cool, melissa and elisa are going to the boat)
Mel: calls melissa
Mel: [busy signal]
Mel: wtf, she's not picking up...
Mel:

squint smilie

2 hours later, melissa and elisa are driving around in the parking lot outside my apartment in a golf cart...:

Mel: hey
Elisa: oh, hey mel
Melissa: heya
Elisa: we just got back fro--
Melissa: [interrupts]
Melissa: cheer practice...
Mel: oh...cheer...okay...
Mel:

squint smilie

Mel: ...you bitches went to the boat with me!!?!
Elisa: (oh shit)
Melissa: ...i...i don't know what you're talking about...
Mel: don't lie to me, i saw your away messages!!
Mel: and i tried calling you!!
Melissa: i didn't get it...
dunno smilie

Mel: you were screening my calls!!
mad smilie

Melissa:
nc smilie

Mel: so how was it? how was the boat??
Melissa: ...it was...different...
Mel: different??! like a good different??!
Melissa: i didn't mean it like that
Mel: you bitch, i hate you

those bitches...i was really pissed off and then i realized that it was a dream, haha

Things to bitch about

  • My favorite hawaiian joint closed up. They're relocating 20+ miles out to Huntington Beach in April.

  • My cell phone sucks. I got this "smartphone" to keep track of my schedule...but that's kinda pointless when the damn thing shuffles the dates and times around randomly. I want a new phone but all the new ones out there are either gay or too expensive.

  • Mouth hurts. Dentist says its my jaw/teeth alignment, not wisdom teeth. He says I need braces. I say I want the invisible ones. He says those won't work for my case. I say he should choke on a hot dog.

  • Cal Poly cut off my internet again. I feel inadequate. I'd rather lose my left nut.

  • Blockbuster Online fucked me over. Bastards tricked me into changing my plan to this gay new plan with shitty read-the-fine-print conditions. (The 4 free in-store rentals are for non-new movies only!!) Those cockwipes.

  • Too many website projects, not enough ADD pills.

  • Ran out of toilet paper. Bad timing. Baaaaaaaaaad timing.

Damn Telemarketers

sometimes i just wish i was a complete asshole. last week some damn telemarketer called me to discuss some business with my basketball site...if only i had it in me to just tell the guy to fuck off...

Sales Guy:

blah smilie

i really don't give a rats ass...but it was an empty afternoon with nothing to do, so i decided to humor him a bit...

Mel: ...interesting...
Sales Guy: if you hold on one quick second, my supervisor can give you more details
Sales Guy: one second...

i know exactly what's going on...you're a stupid intern that does all the initial talking....and then when you think you can lock up the guy, you bring in your big boy supervisor to close the deal.

i've seen Boiler Room you stupid fuck...

Supervisor: hey there....mr. tajohn

i noticed a slight delay in the greeting...probably because he was reading my name off some stupid list...and the best part is he pronounced name wrong.

Supervisor:

blah smilie

Supervisor: ...so what's the focus of your website?
Mel: its an online community on basketball, but we're slowly expanding to become a true online basketball resource
Supervisor: are you kidding me???
Supervisor: basketball is my favorite sport!!!!

bs smilie

pleeeeaaaaase, bitch!!! you don't know jack about the sport, cockmunch!!

Supervisor: i'll tell you what...
Supervisor: normally we charge $5,000 for our services
Supervisor: but since i like you and since i'm such a HUUUUUGE fan of basketball
Supervisor: i can give you an exclusive offer of $2,100

ooooh ooooh, really??? just for me???!

wank smilie

Supervisor: so what do you think?
Mel: hmmm, sounds interesting...
Mel: i'll have to talk to my co-admins about it and then i'll get back to you
Supervisor: great!! i'll cal--
Mel: if we're interested, don't call me...i'll call you
Supervisor: ...ok...i'll be expecting your call next week!!
Mel: hangs up

yeah right...choke on a hotdog...

happyfawk smilie

Losing 25 lbs...

man, i'm starting to notice the difference big time. my jeans don't fit me anymore and it looks like i'm gonna have to buy some new belts since i'm down to the tightest notch....

damnit, i just bought some expensive, perfectly fitting clothes just a couple months ago!!

mad smilie

anyways, other than that minor observation, i'm noticing a big difference in basketball.

guys that i used to push around with ease are all of a sudden knocking the shit out of me. the other day i took a charge on this one dude and i went absolutely flying backwards. and then today i got bumped on a layup and once again i went flying the other way.

omg smilie

ah well. i might miss being the guy that could throw his weight around but its definitely cool being able to keep up with the quickest guys on the court.

chill smilie

Nubbin's Wrong

ok, so the other day i was sitting in my accounting class over at mt. sac...things have been going great, i've finally buckled down and started focusing on my weakest subject. maybe its the pills, maybe its the fact that i have no more second chances...i dunno, but i'm really focused...

well, focused until i notice that the girl sitting in front of me has this freakish nubbin next to her ear.

puke smilie

this thing is monstrous....its not like a tiny little thing of skin...its more like a third nipple on her head...its more like god had extra skin leftover and decided to put it on her....

when she's looking straight ahead, i don't notice it...but she's always turning to her friend on the left, which exposes that god-forsaken thing to me, right in my line of sight. and the worst part about it is we have assigned seating...so i have to live with this for 5 hours a week for the next 15 weeks!!!

god, i can't concentrate anymore!!!

maybe if i just focus really hard...tell myself that everything's okay...its all good...nubbin's wrong...i mean, nothing's wrong!!! aaaaaargh!!!

if you look closely...

70's Porn Theme Party and more

Alan: yo dan, we're in town...we wanna see you
Dan: cool...well i can come down [to mel's place] for a night...
Alan: well, we actually wanna come drive up to SB
Dan: ok good, cuz we're having a Super Troopers theme party on friday and a 70's porn theme party on saturday!! oh man, perfect fucking timing!! we only drove up for the 70's porn theme party...but man, that night was wild!!

okay, one thing i should mention is daniel and his roommates all agreed to grow out a moustache for a whole month...maan, it was a site seeing daniel with his fro and 'stache. the rest of the roommates had awesome costumes...and i swear, this one dude named connor totally looked like this one pornstar...

anyways, at the party there were 5 drinking stations...blow jobs (the shot, haha), purple hooters, body shots, jello shots, and screaming jimmys...once you complete all five, you can get a beer cup.

the saudi crew started off the night with 4 tequila shots...and then continued on with the 5 stations.

by the time i got my beer cup, i was pretty damn sloppy.

i could only manage one game of beer pong...and i didn't even get to finish my beer cuz some party-fouling one-eyed beer slut (seriously, one-eyed...one eye was a glass eye) was all over the place and knocked over so much of the beer.

there had to be 100 people there...i counted 30 people just outside watching beer pong

all was well until a couple fights broke out...i'm not really sure what happened but it involved some dude hitting on another dude's gf...blah blah blah

anyways, the party started to die down after the drama...and around 3am, we topped off the night @ this kickass mexican place called Freebirds, which is pretty much a burrito version of subway.

bigthumbup smilie

Pack the Gym Night (last last friday)

In a competitive game that featured 18 lead changes, senior David Sybesma found himself in familiar circumstances, knocking down a game-winning three pointer, this time with 38 seconds remaining to put the Broncos ahead for good, beating 19th nationally-ranked Cal State San Bernardino 60-57 in front of 1,672 at Kellogg Gym, improving to 10-4 overall and 5-2 in CCAA.

http://www.thepolypost.com/story.php?story=2195

woohoo smilie

yeah yeah, so that was two friday's ago...butt still, that night was awesome. for the first time in 5 years, i finally saw some school spirit here at cal poly...even more spirit than when the girls bball team were the back-to-back NCAA D2 champs a couple years back.

its funny, cal poly and san bernardino are rivals...but i don't think anyone knows...or really cares for the matter, haha. the cal poly crowd was looking for the stupidest stuff to "hate" the other team. there was this one player on the other team, Trenell, that somehow became the target for the bronco crowd.

Cal Poly Crowd: TRENELLLL SUUUU'UUUCKS!!!
Cal Poly Crowd: TRENELL'S A BIIIIIIIIII'IIIITCH!!!
Cal Poly Crowd: TRENELL'S A FAAAA'AAAAAG!!!

anyways, after the clutch three and game-sealing block by Sybesma, the crowd (myself included) ran onto the court in total hysteria like it was a championship.

Drama @ Mt. Sac

i had a little drama over @ mt. sac last week...when i went over to finalize my registration and pay my tuition, all of a sudden i found out i was ineligible...

i was so screwed...if i couldn't get into that class, i wouldn't be able to pass ACC208 by summer, and my chances of getting back into cal poly would've gone up in flames...

after getting shot down by the accounting office, i was left with one last chance...basically the next few years of my life depended on what would happen in a one hour meeting with the chairman.

Dr. McGeough: well, mel...
Dr. McGeough: if you were a mt. sac student, i would've said "no" to you...
Dr. McGeough: but since you only need this class to get back into cal poly, i'm gonna give it to you.

thank you, dr. mcgeough...you have no idea how much you saved me...

Lost Weight

about 23 lbs, actually.

wiggle smilie
its funny, i was the last person to notice it...and everyone's been asking me "have you lost weight?" after weighing myself on four different scales, the final scale being the official one in the girls locker room (
yababy smilie
), i've officially trimmed down from 237 to 214.
coold smilie

More Random Stuff

  • noticed mt. sac has like 80% mexicans...and strangely a LOT of hot asians...my theory is most asians around here get into cal poly...then the really clueless / hot ones get stuck @ mt. sac.
    chill smilie
  • started going to church again, for the first time in 9 years. i have a lot to be thankful for and a lot to pray for.
    smile smilie
  • the waitress @ shakas wants me...she hooked me up with extra stuff and still took off $11 from our tab.
    smile smilie

Songs of the Moment

  • Obsession by Frankie J
  • Call on Me by Eric Prydz
  • Just Hold On by Boyz II Men

There is no beginning or end.. Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is mystery. Today is a gift.

Martin Luther King Weekend

// time for my babble of the week...hmmm, what to babble about...

My definition of "tragedy"

okay, this past weekend i finally decided to open up my endless stack of mail...

Mel: hmm...junk mail...junk mail...bills...junk mail....hmmmm, something from my car dealership...
Mel: oh cool, a scratch n' match sweepstakes...

If your numbers match, you are a guaranteed winner of one of the following prizes:

  • $5,000 Cash (
    fingersx smilie
    )
  • 4-piece Luggage Set (
    wank smilie
    )
  • $250 Home Depot Gift Card (
    wtf2 smilie
    )
  • $500 Online Shopping Spree (
    nc smilie
    i won that shit last year...)
  • 5 Day / 4 Night Disney Resort Vacation (
    coold smilie
    )
  • 42" Plasma TV...(
    drool smilie
    )

Your numbers above must match and you most claim your prize at the dealership at the previously specified times and dates.

Mel: scratch
Mel: 5667...
Mel: scratch
Mel: 5667!!?!?!?!?!!!!!!
Mel: i won!!!!! holy fuck, i won!!!!!
Mel: checks the previously specified times and dates**

Prizes will be awarded on these times and dates only!!!

  • December 28th, 2004 -- 1pm - 4pm
  • December 29th, 2004 -- 12pm - 3pm
  • December 30th, 2004 -- 1pm - 4pm

Mel: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOES!!!!!!!!

moral of the story: check your damn mail...

Counting my blessings...

early monday afternoon, stan (high school buddy) and i decided to visit our fallen homie, walter cooley. (kinda stupid how i thought up of visiting him....it was martin luther king day...and walter is my brother of another color...anyways...) so i was driving like 90 mph on the 210W...there was a minivan ahead of me, tailgating a hot yellow mitsubishi lancer...we were all kinda tailgaiting, actually...

anyways we were just talking and driving...then i notice the lancer swerving left and right a bit...

and then he swerves across all four lanes, all the way from the fast lane to the slow lane...then the dude spins out and swerves back @ 90 mph towards the fast lane...

"oh my god"

BAM!!!!!! just 30 ft ahead of us, the lancer totally crashes into the concrete divider...

i never would've thought that cars could bounce off of concrete like that...

oh, and for the record, i didn't poo myself this time.

squintfawk smilie

Week 3 of being on the pill...

my (very round, very sexy) body is finally adjusting to my pills...i'm finally noticing some differences...but strangely, its not my attention span that getting the most significant change...its my emotions.

i realized that my emotions are like a rollercoaster...and its always the little things that can set me off...the little things can make me really happy but they can just as easily piss me off and make me all emo (that's short for "emotional"...usually in a depressing kind of emotion). with the pill, i'm not so emo anymore...

i was bored the other night so i looked up Strattera online and i found one guy describe it as the "i don't give a fuck about the little things anymore" pill...

omg smilie
that's so true...

i dug around some more and i found that (although not officially approved by the FCC for this) Strattera can be used to treat depression.

whoa cool...i can definitely say that i feel more content these days...even despite some of the drama in my life right now...butt anyways, i feel happier these days...

oh, and speaking of "happy"...i am happy as fuck to say that Woody is baaaaaaaack!!!!!

wiggle smilie
oh man, i used to think how annoying it was to have morning wood...but after two weeks of impotence...i've never been happier.
biggrin smilie

Smelly Guy moving out...

i just find out yesterday that infamous Smelly Guy is leaving me!!!?! he's checking out of the apartment on sunday and transferring to Sacramento.

its wierd...kinda happy...kinda sad....(kinda fucked up on my part, i know)...things are gonna be different without him.

kinda sad because he's made some improvement...he switched body washes to Suave's Cucumber Melon (which isn't exactly the most masculine body wash out there, but hey, he smells a lot better).

so yeah, he's leaving...it'll be better for him though...cuz back in NorCal he'll have his homies, his car, family and gf. i wish him the best.

i'll smell you later, mang!!!!

Songs that I can't get out of my head

  • Trucker Hat by Bowling for Soup
  • Let's Take our Time by Ryan Cabrera
  • That damn jingle for the Chevy Cobalt commercial!!!

anyways, that's all for now...hope you all had a great martin luther kind weekend.

i love black people!!!

// guests can post comments now!!!

On the rebound

Accounting Professor: in the past 20 years, i'd say 85% of my students get A's and B's in my class.
Accounting Professor: i don't like to give anything lower than C's.
Accounting Professor: i'll let you drop the course before you fail it.

bigthumbup smilie

that is music to my ears.

the only drawback is this class is from 7:00-9:30pm, mondays & wednesdays, til may 20th....

omg smilie
that's an ass load of hours compared to cal poly's standard 3.4 hours/week for 10 weeks.

my FRL300 class looks interesting....the professor is really cute

yababy smilie
...but she's seriously fresh off the boat.
doh smilie
i have to pay extra attention to get past her thick thai accent. she speaks somewhat slow, which is actually a good thing for me cuz this crap is confusing as balls.
happysad smilie

the gaysauce thing about these classes is they're both night classes...i'm gonna miss so much good tv...specifically the oc (

happyfawk smilie
), joey, lost & laker games. ah well, it'll all be worth it when i get those A's and back into cal poly.
biggrin smilie

oh yeah, i know that the advisor bitch told me to not take PE classes anymore...but fuck that, i'm going to 'em. i'm not enrolled in 'em but i'm tight with the coaches so its all good.

in other news, its been a week since i got on the pill....the ADD pill, that is.

biggrin smilie
i've gotta say, it felt a little wierd the first few days. i noticed something pretty significant...my appetite was taken down a couple notches and...I CAN'T GET IT UP ANYMORE!!!!
oh smilie
i talked to one of my friends that's also on the pill and he said he has the same problem sometimes.

great...just great...my appetite is null and i'm not greeted every morning by woody anymore...

cry smilie
i'm no longer the hungry, horny mel that you all know and love...
frown smilie

maybe that's the source of my possible ADD...food and porn...

dunno smilie

aaaanyways, that's all for now. until next week-ish...

Random Stuff

  • its one thing when waiters like you...but its a whole 'nother thing when a gay waiter hits on you...
    happysad smilie
  • taught phoebe's dog how to hump
    gayhehe smilie
  • the living room couch in my apartment gets more ass than me....my roommates are always going at it with their girls.
    squint smilie
  • bought the unrated harold & kumar go to white castle dvd
    yababy smilie
  • conan's 10 year anniversary special dvd is the shiznat
    coold smilie
  • fiesta platters @ acapulco are my everest!!!
    bowdown smilie

Songs of the Moment

  • Almost by Bowling for Soup
  • Take It All Away by Ryan Cabrera
  • True (Spanglish Version) by Ryan Cabrera
  • Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day

"Who needs undies when you got the support of your friends."