There's been a lot of talk recently about what exactly BTVfam is and what The Featured Acoustic Playlist (FAP) is about. As a BTVfam member that has been there from the very beginning (without a single hiatus) and one of the organizers of FAP, I've heard it all.
In hopes of clarifying who we are, what we're about, and elaborating on what was posted on the BTVfam Tumblr, I want to share my thoughts on everything.
Every person I've ever encountered.
Every heart that's come my way.
Every emotion I've been through.
Every smile.
Every tear.
Every moment of love or heartbreak.
Every moment of weakness or inspiration.
Everything has led me to where I am today.
Right here.
Right now.
This is truly where I'm meant to be,
At this very moment.
mmm mel! i love your hugs and your warming presence..i love that youre such a positive person and you make me laugh all the time. i love that we did strip aerobics and that we've known each other for a while now and i know i can always count on you. i love that i really feel like youre family so know i would bend over backwards for you =) i dislike that...actually i dont dislike anything abotu you or anything. maybe that we live so close and we dont hang out as much? confession..you were the first person i recognized on blog by name..im so forgetful but your blogname always stuck out to me since the first day. =)
—Raelynne Rosales
You can, in the meantime, strive to be genuine, lovable and honorable.
Because at the end of the day, another person's heart will decide how it feels on its own terms, on its own time.
-Mel
I'll tell you a secret. Something they don't teach you in your temple. The Gods envy us. They envy us because we're mortal, because any moment might be our last. Everything is more beautiful because we're doomed. You will never be lovelier than you are now. We will never be here again.
—Achilles, played by Brad Pitt in the movie, "Troy"
I love love love this scene. Not because of the religious stuff or cuz Brad Pitt gets half-naked...but cuz it reinforces the idea of cherishing what you have like there is no tomorrow.
Like the final months of each major chapter in my life:
My final year of middle school before going off to boarding school.
My senior year of boarding school
My last summer vacation in Saudi Arabia before moving to the states permanently.
My final year of college.
I remember those times better than any other. I knew those moments would be my last, so I really savored every bit of it.
Unfortunately for most of those years in between, I somewhat took for granted. I kinda lived through those years by just going through the motions of things. It's just too easy to fall into that kinda trap when you have that overoptimistic mentality of "forever."
But when you realize that all things in your life could be pulled from right under you at any moment...you learn to truly appreciate everything.
melmyfinger - this guy ! i swear hes such a sweetheart ! i love his posts, hilarious & entertaining. & when theyre not, theyre sincere [as fuck]. i love him to death ! dopeass homie.
—nikkifbabeh
Something big came up last night and it really changed my perspective on things. I realized that yeah, I would treat certain people differently, and that no, the resentment would no longer be worth it.
Just like that, this heavy weight on my heart that I've been carrying around for the past couple months...suddenly had no reason to be there anymore.
What ever happened, happened. And whatever million questions I had on why things ended the way they did...they just don't matter.
So today, I set myself free. With just a few text messages I was able to make amends...And man, it feels so good to breathe again.
Designed by @vankho
xJ-weezyx12: didnt u make a vid called 2 hot dogs 1 mel or something
xJ-weezyx12: ??
melmyfinger: hahah yeah
melmyfinger: oh shit, you saw that?
xJ-weezyx12: yea lol
melmyfinger: hahaha how'd you find it??
xJ-weezyx12: idk searchin random stuff and saw it
melmyfinger: hahahah
zomg, of all things to get recognized for, hahahaah
On the second day of being back home in Summer '02 -- just a few hours after getting heartbroken by this one girl I was talking to for several months -- my homeboy came up to me:
Mel, I'm really sorry the way shit went down last night with you and her"...but I've got to be honest with you: the past few weeks I've started to feel something for her...and I get the vibe that she's into me too. I'm really starting to like her, man"¦but I won't go after her if you don't want me to.
Of course I knew the rest of summer was gonna be a shitty one, having to watch them be happy together while I deal with all the pain. But with that kind of love, respect and simple heads up he gave me as a brother...I couldn't say no.
He got the girl. I dealt with the pain. They eventually broke up...but in the end, him and I grew tighter as friends.
I'll never forget that.
